Periodic Table of Ethereal Elements

I was not ready for your form to be cold
Ever. Even in life

You did not inhabit, necessarily, a form,
But a mind of

Rarer liquid element. It had not occurred to me
You would take

Leave and it will be winter from now on, not only
Here, in the ordinary,

But there too, in the extraordinary elegance
Of calcium and finery

And loss. Keep me

Tethered here, breathtakingly awkward and alive.

If you had a psyche it was not known to me.

If you had a figure it would be heavy irony.

If you were a man, you would be

An autumn of black carriages filled red with leaves
From sycamore trees,

Not scattering. I was not ready for sure
Earthward and unease.

Goodbye to the imperium, the rinsing wind. You, cold
As God and the great

Glassed castle in which I've lived, simply
Now a house.

A girl ago, a childhood gone like a phial of ether
Thrown on fire--just

A little jump of flame, like grief, or,

Like a penicillin that has lost its skill at killing
Off, it then is gone.


--Lucie Brock-Broido

"I see the notion of talent as quite irrelevant. I see instead perseverance, application, industry, assiduity, will, will, will, desire, desire, desire."
--Gordon Lish, on writing.

What

girl goes to the university of alabama? THIS GIRL

Help a Musician!

The most amazing songstress Sara Azriel is making a new record and needs YOUR HELP!

Every artist needs the help of the community around them to make their dreams a reality.
Please consider donating any amount of money or resources to help!

LISTEN HERE!

See below: (from Sara's website www.saraazriel.com)

"As many of you know, I have not yet released a proper record. Little collections of demos here and there, but nothing cohesive. I went to Los Angeles seven years to pursue music, but as it turns out, Los Angeles had other things in store for me. But that's a long story for another day. The point is, I've quit my jobs and packed up my car to pursue the muse that hasn't loosened its hold on me.

Picture this: 10 songs, recorded in a state-of-the-art studio (which happens to be located on a horse farm), a stunning Yamaha C-3 6'1" Conservatory Grand Piano, an exciting production team: Overclock, Inc, full horn section, fender rhodes, and a full rhythm section.

I am making the record for many reasons. The first is, of course, to do my songs some justice. They deserve it. The second reason is for anyone who has ever felt a connection to my music. I want to make this for you. Music has always been a healer, a soother, and an inspiration to me. If I can provide that for anyone else, I'll feel like I've satisfied my purpose here. The third is a more practical reason, and encompasses many things under its umbrella: I'd like to make a living from doing what I love, and what I feel I was made to do. I have a solid plan and the people lined up to help execute it. In addition to spreading this music record by record, I'm really excited about the contacts I have in the film and television industry for song placement/licensing.

And I’ve never felt more ready in my life. "


GET INVOLVED!


"No artist is an island. I had to realize at some point that I alone can not take on a project of this magnitude. So, I need your help in building this record. These days more and more musicians, artists, and filmmakers are realizing their projects with the support of their friends, family, and fans. What I'm offering is sort of like a membership to your local radio station, only you will be helping me make a record, person by person, and getting something out of it for yourself. It’s as simple as pre-ordering the record, or more, if you like!

I've come up with different levels of support to fit every budget. Every single person who invests will get a thank-you on the liner notes (which you can opt out of).

Here is the breakdown of what I am offering in exchange for your belief in and support of me:

(Please see important details at the bottom of this page.)

$10 Digital download of record

$25 Signed CD.

$50 Two signed CDs.

$100 Five signed CDs.

$500 A short (< 2minute) song, written and recorded by me on (almost) any
topic, plus five signed copies. This makes an excellent gift for a
wedding, birthday, anniversary, baby shower, etc. Also, I’ll put your
favorite poem/story or your lyrics to music.

$1,000 A 2-3 minute song for you, written and recorded by me on (almost)
any topic, plus 10 signed copies. (See above for ideas.)

$5,000 I'll play a private house concert for you and your friends. (You
provide a good piano and are within 100 miles of Boston, Los
Angeles, San Francisco, or Muskegon.) OR
investment opportunity.

$10,000 I''ll play a private house concert for you and your friends
anywhere in the USA plus copies, Executive Producer Credit,
OR investment opportunity.

"The Whole Shabang! Fund an entire segment/phase of the record-making process and get Executive Producer credit. Other payback and back end negotiable.

The money will be spent on:

Phase 1: Production (recording costs, producer, hiring of musicians, etc)
Phase 2: Post-production (mixing, mastering, artwork, manufacturing)

If you're interested in an investment opportunity ($5,000 and up) and would like to see our budget, please contact me. If you are short on funds but would like to donate your time, we greatly appreciate that as well. If you know other music-lovers who you think would be interested in pre-ordering the record, please forward this information to them. If you have any questions whatsoever, please feel free to email me.

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read through this, and for considering being a patron of the arts."


GO TO HER WEBSITE! GO TO HER WEBSITE! GO TO HER WEBSITE! GO TO HER WEBSITE!

www.saraazriel.com

Smok(ing).

"For I have learned how to soothe the hot spots, how to salve the soreness on my skin. I can do it so no one notices, can do it while I teach a class if I need to, or lead a seminar on psycho-diagnosis. I can do it while I talk to you in the evenest of tones. "Shhhh," I whisper to the hurting part, hidden here. You can call her borderline -- call me borderline -- or multiple, or heaped with post-traumatic stress -- but strip away the language and you find something simple. You find me, part healthy as a horse and part still suffering, as are we all. What sets me apart from Kayla or Linda or my other patients like George, Marie, Pepsi -- what sets me apart from these "sick" ones is simply a learned ability to manage the blades of deep pain with a little bit of dexterity. Mental health doesn't mean making the pains go away. I don't believe they ever go away. I do believe that nearly every person sitting at this oval table now has the same warped impulses, the same scarlet id, as the wobbliest of borderlines, the most florid of psychotics. Only the muscles to hold things in check -- to channel and funnel -- are stronger. I have not healed so much as learned to sit still and wait while pain does its dancing work, trying not to panic or twist in ways that make the blades tear deeper, finally infecting the wounds.

Still, I wonder. Why -- how -- have I managed to learn these things while others have not? Why have I managed somehow to leave behind at least for now what looks like wreckage, and shape something solid from my life? My prognosis, after all, was very poor. In idle moments, I still slide my fingers under the sleeves of my shirt and trace the raised white nubs of scars that track my arms from years and years of cutting. How did I learn to stop cutting and collapsing, and can I somehow transmit this ability to others? I don't know. It's a core question for me in my work. I believe my strength has something to do with memory, with that concept of fluid time. For while I recall with clarity the terror of abuse, I also recall the green and lovely dream of childhood, the moist membrane of a leaf against my nose, the toads that peed a golden pool in the palm of my hand. Pleasures, pleasures, the recollections of which have injected me with a firm and unshakable faith. I believe Dostoyevsky when he wrote, "If man has one good memory to go by, that may be enough to save him." I have gone by memory."

from Three Spheres by Lauren Slater

O!

Is anyone else super excited about the new issue of Tin House with an excerpt of Nick Cave's new novel?

BECAUSE I AM

Total Eclipse Live.

I am in Tucson, AZ where the Valley is eating my brain.



My friend Tee- wrote this amazing essay about this time they went down on me after feeding me XTC. It was intense and amazing and I had to talk into a tape recorder and all I talked about was leaving and coming back to "home." Tee- has since published this essay here: http://www.makeshiftmag.com/ Go read it eventually, as it is not up yet but will be. (Tee- has a notable essay in best american essays 2009!)



PS Dale's Pale Ale is my FAVORITE BEER EVER IN CANS EVER

Sabotage.

May we eat and eat and still not be full?

O Baby.

All of our livers were harvested and sold as "DIY X-MAS ORNAMENTS" on Etsy.com this weekend.

Goodness.

A We was all "Hi, I'm obsessed with you. My name is _____." And the other part of the We blushed until the skin was a deep burgundy. And I said "O, nice to meet you." Which really meant I know, aren't We all?